What if you got to heaven, and God told you...?

"Your religion was untrue, my child." He says, his ego lighting the heavens. I frown at him. It isn't really his fault; Ultimate power and all.

"Its alright, Lord. I tried to opt out of the judgment, but I was curious. how great are my sins?"

"Not many; You where compassionate, yes, but promiscuous. You endured travesties with grace, but reminisced with a sharp tongue. You read my book, you pointed out editing errors to all who would listen -- And evangelists get a special permit, just because the incurred your damnable wrath. You loved all my creatures, Elle, But I fear twas not enough. If only you had accepted Jesus as your Savior, you would be here with me.You have worshiped falsely, lived by fnords and neglected my teachings as bulldada, and you did not repent on your death bed.

For that I am truly sorry."

We begin to walk towards the escalator.

" 'Twas' Is archaic, lord."

God sighs. "Indeed. I use it excessively, and no one dares to point it out. They really fear the smiting."

I look down the escalator, I peer down at Hell.

"I'm going to go now, God. I think I was correct. This is discord, this is Chaos. After a life on earth, do you think I could settle into this eternity of peace stuff? Im sorry, God. I wish we could hang out more, but the escalator only goes down."

God shrugs. "Heaven and hell must be seperate.Those who believed truely must be rewarded."

God holds out his hand, and a golden apple materializes. I take a bite out of it, and toss it back to earth.

I step on the escalator.

"I have a date with Freddie Mercury." I explain. God nods, and he slowly turns and walks away.